It bites

Last night, I realized something… I had been seeing this guy for about 7 months but we never talked about our relationship status, I always just took it for granted and thought that he obviously felt the same way that I did. From saying that, maybe it was my fault, I should have said something to him or asked… I had so much emotion though, I didn’t know how to say something. I was too scared to say something because what if I embarrassed myself because he didn’t feel the same or what if he already thought that we were “together”. But then there was that slight chance that he was wondering the same thing as I was, “are we an item or not?” Actions speak more than words though, and his actions were whoppers, (ex. imagine seeing China on fire). We were together every day, yet everyday he would bring up my friend. He would always ask me about her or say that we should invite her over. Then one night he hung out with her and told her that he didn’t have any feelings for me (while he held her hand), fuck my mother fucking shit hole of a life. I wasted 7 months of my life to find out that this guy who I had such strong feelings for didn’t even care! I was furious! I wanted to kill someone! I wanted to dig a deep, deep, deep hole, fill it with poison, crawl into it, have someone burry me and lay to die. Yes, needless to say, I was quite depressed. But this was nearly half a year ago that I felt this way and it didn’t last incredibly long, I eventually realized how gay he truly is and how much better I can do. His face still repulses me though because he used me. He used me to get to my friend who wasn’t even interested; at least I don’t think that she was… Either way, these things just get to you. If he ever gets to read this there is one message for him. “Thank you. Thank you for proving that you’re a faggot without my help. Thank you for wasting my time. Thank you for using me. Thank you for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit. And thank you for proving to me that Hitler still exists because you gassed all of the love out of my heart. Still though, thank you for helping me to realize that there are many greater males out there in the world and that you were not the one for me. Thank you and fuck you. Sincerely, Julie.”